there are things. sometimes, they're close, other times, they're an echo bouncing off a canyon, the canyon walls are craggy and distort the message, or at least it sounds that way a portion of the time. sometimes the canyon is speaking to someone else. sometimes the echo doesn't quite register. sometimes, i'm not even paying attention. i've allowed myself to relax. i've let myself grow lazy, the vast majority of the time. i hardly even think anymore. sometimes i stir up the silt and mud at the bottom of my brain. the mud and silt fill my ears, and make the echoes muffled. and dull. not even worth hearing? worth hearing, i think. it's time to work through the mud. to flush it out. i need words. i know where to find words. but the mud is so thick, and the canyon so deep, so long, that the words 'm fortunate enough to find, often fall short of their mark. and i haven't been able to catch them.

so here's to thought. here's to prayer. here's to diligence. here's to work. to hard work. to sweat. to blood. to love. to worship.
to sweet
sweet
exhaustion.
the exhaustion found after working. the skin splitting kind. the mind boggling kind.

i want to serve. i want to pray with other people. i want to support my friends, in every way.

i will
He will.
He will.